Boy Listens

Here is a boy

Here is a story that says, listen

So he listens

The story says, be kind, thoughtful, considerate, caring, honest, patient, tolerant, blah blah blah

So he does his best

The story says, have integrity

Story says, be a philospher kind

Story says, be a Renaissance Man

So he does

Then he meets dilemma and dillemms says, here are some problems

He says, oh no.

The story says, be selfless and forgiving

So boy says, oh it is probably my fault and i just need to try harder.

So he does

He tries harder again

he tries harder again

Harder kicks his ass

He thinks it is his fault

He tries again

Harder kicks his ass

He thinks he is bad

He tries again

He thinks he is not okay

Not allowed

Story says, be persistent.

So he does again again agin.

Now here is a man who is a bitter miserable perfectionist

Now here is a man who thinks everything is his fault

That he wasn’t thoughtful

he wasn’t considerate

he wasn’t enough always

that he had to do everything the story said

to be okay

now all he wants to do is be sloppy and careless

just want to let it go

let go of all this special and amazing

let go of this grand vision of kumbaya

and he can’t

fucking shit.

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