What is the overwhelmed
Where is it
Who is it
Why is it
How is it
Just wondering about it it
Makes it go on a little more
Existential hoohaha
Ug
Please, no more
No, not please.
Always asking for allowance
No
Yet it goes on and on
No stopping the automatic
Only can be satisfied in creation
Satisfied in what is there and is not there
Perhaps one day it will quiet down
There thinky thinker monkey
Programmed into this being
To think and monkey about
As if that will solve and mend
That will make the little boy not hurt
He does just want to be okay
Yet can no longer because
This thinky monkey
Claims its dues
Clamors for attention
And this boy know only
Only
To submit
Feels righteous in giving away
Giving away
The power
This boy is so skilled in the monkey mind
Can analyze the world to bits
Including
His own satisfaction
His own enjoyment
His own being into bits and bits to no end
Always finding not enough
Because way way down and back
In the soybean field
In the summer grass
On the tractor road
He was disowned
Sent away
Given up
Not needed
And his only option was to please
And please, and please the world, and
Himself
And he was to think and think it out
And it could never be done
He never found out how to be
to be
God.
So the pleasing game broke
its maker.
Overwhelmed at the task
Only left to be satisfied, and
Choose which fire to sit in.
Flourish in the fire
A new game to overwhelm himself with.

Maps

They say to you
Climb this mountain.
This mountain that cannot be seen
That has no end
That has no map
That has ceaseless traps
And bears and cougars.
And know too that whatever comes
Cannot be fought, only accepted.
If life was eternally needling
Would you do it

Goodness

Why such entitlement to goodness
To pleasure
To not pain
And love
I was not supposed
A tiresome entitlement
Every day expecting the lotto649
To stake in my favour.
I was not supposed
Perhaps it was better when we
Lived all out and died before forty.
When it hardly matters if we hurt.
We let go of feels good.
I was not meant to be so buggered.

And If

And if I have made the right decision,
Then I have made the right decision.
And if I have made the wrong decision,
Then I have made the wrong decision.
And if there is darkness,
Then there is darkness.
And if there is good,
Then there is good.
And if I am guilty,
Then I am guilty.
Am if I am honourable,
Then I am honourable.

Cookies

The body wants cookies
It was built to like cookies
They feel good
Cookies are easy energy.
The mind wants cheap thrills
It was built to like cheap thrills
They feel good
Cheep thrills are easy.

Cheap thrills and cheap energy
Are the bane of
A creature bred for scarcity
And living in plenty
This is a suffocating plenty.